


The Locker Room

by iamatheatrekid



Category: Athlete vs. Mathlete - W. C. Mack
Genre: A children's book, But it's a secret!, Coming Out, Confrontation, Gay Russell Evans, High School, Locker Room, Owen Evans is a Good Brother, Russell kind of gets outed, for the first time in his life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:34:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23250073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamatheatrekid/pseuds/iamatheatrekid
Summary: After being on the same team for years, Russell still refuses to change in the locker room with the other boys. Owen is eager for the answer of why that is, but he may not be ready. Russell either.
Relationships: Past Russell Evans/Nitu
Kudos: 1





	The Locker Room

**Author's Note:**

> haha watch me create this fandom by myself since no one actually cares about this children's book

No matter how many times he thought it over, the idea was still crazy in his head. Not crazy enough to be impossible, but crazy enough to overthink it in order to be sure it was true. And after a long time of overthinking it, years of overthinking it, the idea was still crazy. Russell tried to push it out of his head and decided to forget about it. The idea could just sit in his head, he didn’t have to do anything with it. But that wasn’t fair, nor was it very probable.

Love and relationships had always been assumed to be more of his brother’s domain, but that was actually far from the truth. Maybe Owen had girls chasing after him, but Russell was the one who had actually had a girlfriend, as ironic as it was. Him and his best friends had an awkward thing in the beginning of eighth grade that didn’t last long. For being extremely smart nerds, it was amazing that they were dumb enough to misunderstand their feelings for each with love. It took two months, a school dance, and an awkward first kiss to realize that. 

Since then, both Evans twins had been bachelors. They were still basketball stars and Owen had also taken over track. Russell got his braces off and it looked like Owen was going to reach his height until he strangely grew an extra few inches, seemingly out of spite. They both were every girls’ dream in a way. Russell was a double threat, extremely smart and a star on the basketball court, and Owen was oozing with popularity and was actually turning out to be a nice guy. There was just one problem with them being every girls’ dream: Russell was pretty sure he was gay. 

“Sure” wasn’t the right word for it. Deep down he was “sure,” but on the surface, he was denying it, doubting it, and outright ignoring it. He as trying to manipulate every situation to rightfully be “straight until proven gay.” He didn’t change in the locker room anymore, he either changes in the bathroom on the way to the gym, or in the shower, just to diminish any chances of being flustered by all of the handsome jocks and having to deal with the truth.  
Owen was going to ask him about it, but figured that it tied into the fact that he always wore long pants and shirts that were slightly too big: he was self-conscious; and, while confidence wasn’t Russell’s strong suit, that wasn’t the reason why, but Owen didn’t know that. So, when Russell came into the locker room, already in his uniform with his eyes glued to the floor, only to drop his bag off in his usual locker—314 (for reasons), Owen just sighed to himself.

Chris sighed, too, after Russell quickly walked out. “Man, what’s his deal? It’s like he’s scared of changing with us.” He said, comfortably changing his own shorts.

Owen shrugged. “I just figured it was a confidence problem.”

“Well, he always changed with us in middle school.”

“If anything, he has more to be confident about now,” Nate said from across the room. “Now that he has some muscle and knows all of us.

Chris shrugged and looked at Owen. “Maybe it’s not a confidence issue at all.”

Paul, folding his clothes beside Nate, said, completely casually, “I always just thought he was gay.”

Owen’s jaw dropped and everyone fell quiet in the room. Owen quickly shrugged it off with a shake of his head and went back to finish getting ready, saying, “Well, he’s not. He had a girlfriend.”

Nicky shook his own head. “She doesn’t count.”

“Why not?”

“They dated for like a month.”

“It was two, and they kissed, remember?”

Chris said, quietly, “But didn’t you kind of force him to?”

Owen stopped tying his shoes to look up at him. Sure, over the course of Russell and Nitu’s relationship the question of whether or not they kissed had been becoming daily until Russell finally went for it in the empty hallway at the Halloween dance. So, in a way, he did pressure him into it, but thought it would be for the best. People kiss who they’re dating so it was something that he would’ve done eventually. Owen went back to tying his shoes, now with his fingers shaking more. “I didn’t force him to, I just said that he should since they were dating and that’s what people do when they’re dating.”

“But maybe Russ didn’t do it on his own because he didn’t want to. Because he didn’t like her.” Paul said, with a raised eyebrow.

Before Owen had a chance to get the confused look off his face and come up with a comeback, their coach came into the locker room yelling, “Ready, boys?”

Everyone rushed out of the locker room while Owen dragged his feet along the ground. When he saw Russell stand up from the bench, he got a weird feeling in his stomach. Russell had volunteered himself to get everyone’s water bottles filled before each game and there they all were, lined up under the bench where everyone typically sat. Poor confidence wouldn’t inspire him to stay out of the locker room with the other guys to go get water. He was avoiding being in the locker room.

++++++

The team had another win under their belt, but it wasn’t due to Owen’s help. The entire game he was too preoccupied with what had gone down in the locker room to make any good shots or blocks, so he mostly did the bare minimum of standing there and passing. He only watched Russell while he sat on the bench and did notice that he kept his distance with the opposing team. While Owen would get real close blocking them and would push past whoever he had to without any thought of touching them, Russell would shy away from them and would only get close if it was absolutely necessary. 

It was too much to think about and he hated the looks of the other guys when Russell took his gym bag into the shower with him after the game. Russell didn’t really notice anything off with Owen. He didn’t play the best he could, but it wasn’t bad enough for Russell to worry. He was even too oblivious to feel the awkward tension between his teammates. He didn’t feel the stares on him as he went off to change somewhere else, he didn’t think of much with their quick high-fives or pats on the back. He was ignoring any possibility of it meaning anything. But his brother? It didn’t leave his mind.

He was quiet during the ride home and quieter at dinner being seated next to Russell the entire time. He couldn’t look at him, let alone talk to him. But, he knew he had to. 

Well after dinner and into the night, Owen went to Russells’s room and knocked on the door. He heard a quick “Come in” from inside and opened the door to the exact sight he expected. Russell sat at his desk with textbook and notebook open. He looked like he was in the middle of a question in whatever kind of math it was that Owen didn’t recognize, but Russell still greeted his brother with a smile. “Hi,” he said, but Owen didn’t respond. He closed the door behind him and looked nervous. And he never looked nervous.

“What’s wrong?” Russell asked, completely abandoning his homework. 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Owen started to say, talking especially fast like he did when he got nervous. “I was just wondering something.”

“What?” Russell asked, now skeptical.

Owen didn’t want to look at him, so he settled with looking at the floor. “Why don’t you ever change in the locker room with the rest of us?”

Russell leaned back in his chair and paused. The pause was because he never actually thought of an excuse for why he did that in case he was asked and, even though he was an award winning problem solver, he couldn’t think of a reason. “Oh,” was all he could say.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to say. It’s actually funny, Paul said it was because you were gay.” He tried to laugh, but couldn’t. Especially not when he looked at his brother’s face.

It was getting red and his lips were pressed so tightly together they were turning white, like he had a big secret he was trying not to say. He opened his mouth, but closed it again when he felt tears come to his eyes. 

Owen felt his heart drop and a familiar feeling return to his stomach, maybe it was where his heart dropped to. He realized he was holding his breath and let it out with a quivering “Oh.”

Russell wasn’t looking at him. He did look up when Owen returned to his own natural state long enough to ask, “Wait, really?”

“I-” he started to say, but stopped and sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Russ…” Owen’s voice trailed off.

“I just. I don’t want to be.”

“What? Gay?”

Russell nodded. “Yeah.” He looked like he had fear in his eyes and Owen didn’t know what to say. Luckily, Russell kept talking. “I’ve been trying to ignore it. That’s why I don’t go in the locker rooms, I don’t want to see a bunch of guys and have to think about it.”

“Why?”

“Because, Owen. It makes life so much more complicated and I don’t need my life to be any more complicated. And who knows how everyone would receive it.”

“Well, I can tell you that I’m fine with it. I’m sure Mom and Dad would be, too, they’ll love you no matter what.”

Russell gave him a tired smile. Owen went on, “I don’t think the guys will care and neither would your friends, although I don’t actually know them.”

Russell still sat silent in his chair. “Well,” Owen went on. “If you figure it out and ever want to talk about it, you can always talk to me.”

“Thanks, Owen.”

“And I won’t tell anyone.” 

And he didn’t. When everyone gave him a weird look as Russell went into the showers to change, he just ignored them.


End file.
